By Maria Luevano and Jen Lewis
Logline: A man is desperate to get his hands on money and other valuable things, so he decides to brake into a house; the sounds he heard while robbing the house keeps reappearing and his conscious starts to take control.
Logline: A man is desperate to get his hands on money and other valuable things, so he decides to brake into a house; the sounds he heard while robbing the house keeps reappearing and his conscious starts to take control.
Treatment:
A man walking all the street, dragging his feet in a slump has been very desperate to get his life back on track. He sees happy people walking past him on the streets and is very jealous of what they have that he doesn't. He comes to a conclusion of braking into one of his good friends house. He doesn't take into consideration how bad he may feel afterwards.
It's a dark gloomy night, and dressed in all black in the man looking at his friend and his family leave their house as he sits and waits behind a car. As they drive away he walks up to the front door and uses a spare key that his friend hides incase he gets locked out. He opens the creaking door and turns on his flashlight. The door SLAMS shut behind him from the wind and he gets startled and jumps. As he makes his way through the house he hears creaking sounds through out the house. (Eerie music plays softly in the background) He starts to go through drawers and fins jewelry and money that he throws in his bag. While this happens, he hears glass breaking from a distance. Once again he gets startled. and freaks out a little. He stands by the window as he tries to not make any sudden changes in the house while grabbing more jewelry. The harsh wind blows and makes a loud screeching sound while a tree branch hits the window and makes a loud thud. As he tried to make his way out of the house the sounds keep getting louder and faster. He then panics and hurries out of the house.
Over the next couple days, he tried to go back to his normal life. His close friend that he robbed keeps trying to call him but out of guilt he doesn't answer. Walking on the street trying to enjoy the nice day, he hears behind him glass breaking. He starts to panic and sweat. He try's to keep walking but he keeps hearing it and the eerie music starts to start up again. He gets more antsy about it. He turns around and sees that it's someone braking glass bottles for an art work piece. He calms his self down and keeps on walking.
When he gets back home finally, he leans against a wall and tried to forget about what has happened in the past 12 hours. He takes a deep breath and suddenly hears a door slamming. He again starts to sweat and get worked up. It happens about 3 more times and starts to run. When he turns a corner, he stops in front of a family who was just getting home as well. The parents were arguing and slammed their doors in anger and the kids were frustrated as well and did the same. The family looks at it him and he stumbles over his words when trying to say "sorry". His heart keeps racing and his heart beat gets louder and louder. As he is running he hears the loud creaking sound from the wind and see that its a baby crying extremely loud.
He finally gets away from the loud community. He wonders into a beautiful open spaced area. He finds that maybe he can leave all of his guilt hear in the nature/woods and move on with life. As he recollects himself, he hears the wind blowing through the tall grass making sounds. He turns around and says "who's there?!" His conscious takes over his mind and starts to guilt trip him saying things like "How could you do that to your best friend? He has a family to support... and etc." He starts to get more angry about it. He starts to sweet more, the reoccurring sounds keep getting louder (glass breaking, heart beating, creaking, doors slamming) and starts yelling "NO, NO, NOOOOOO!" He finally runs out of the woods and runs home.
As he is about to get to his house, he walks by the police station. He tells himself don't stop keep walking and don't attract any attention. As he gets closer the reoccurring sounds start to get louder and louder once again. He then breaks down and walks into the police station and turns himself in. He tells the police the address of his house where to find the stolen items and money and who he stole it from. You can see that he was a wreck and had some issues. His conscious got to him and made him go crazy to the point where he couldn't take it no longer.
It's a dark gloomy night, and dressed in all black in the man looking at his friend and his family leave their house as he sits and waits behind a car. As they drive away he walks up to the front door and uses a spare key that his friend hides incase he gets locked out. He opens the creaking door and turns on his flashlight. The door SLAMS shut behind him from the wind and he gets startled and jumps. As he makes his way through the house he hears creaking sounds through out the house. (Eerie music plays softly in the background) He starts to go through drawers and fins jewelry and money that he throws in his bag. While this happens, he hears glass breaking from a distance. Once again he gets startled. and freaks out a little. He stands by the window as he tries to not make any sudden changes in the house while grabbing more jewelry. The harsh wind blows and makes a loud screeching sound while a tree branch hits the window and makes a loud thud. As he tried to make his way out of the house the sounds keep getting louder and faster. He then panics and hurries out of the house.
Over the next couple days, he tried to go back to his normal life. His close friend that he robbed keeps trying to call him but out of guilt he doesn't answer. Walking on the street trying to enjoy the nice day, he hears behind him glass breaking. He starts to panic and sweat. He try's to keep walking but he keeps hearing it and the eerie music starts to start up again. He gets more antsy about it. He turns around and sees that it's someone braking glass bottles for an art work piece. He calms his self down and keeps on walking.
When he gets back home finally, he leans against a wall and tried to forget about what has happened in the past 12 hours. He takes a deep breath and suddenly hears a door slamming. He again starts to sweat and get worked up. It happens about 3 more times and starts to run. When he turns a corner, he stops in front of a family who was just getting home as well. The parents were arguing and slammed their doors in anger and the kids were frustrated as well and did the same. The family looks at it him and he stumbles over his words when trying to say "sorry". His heart keeps racing and his heart beat gets louder and louder. As he is running he hears the loud creaking sound from the wind and see that its a baby crying extremely loud.
He finally gets away from the loud community. He wonders into a beautiful open spaced area. He finds that maybe he can leave all of his guilt hear in the nature/woods and move on with life. As he recollects himself, he hears the wind blowing through the tall grass making sounds. He turns around and says "who's there?!" His conscious takes over his mind and starts to guilt trip him saying things like "How could you do that to your best friend? He has a family to support... and etc." He starts to get more angry about it. He starts to sweet more, the reoccurring sounds keep getting louder (glass breaking, heart beating, creaking, doors slamming) and starts yelling "NO, NO, NOOOOOO!" He finally runs out of the woods and runs home.
As he is about to get to his house, he walks by the police station. He tells himself don't stop keep walking and don't attract any attention. As he gets closer the reoccurring sounds start to get louder and louder once again. He then breaks down and walks into the police station and turns himself in. He tells the police the address of his house where to find the stolen items and money and who he stole it from. You can see that he was a wreck and had some issues. His conscious got to him and made him go crazy to the point where he couldn't take it no longer.
This film meets the requirements because the point is to show how the reoccurring sounds of what he heard while robbing his friends house got to his conscious and made him go crazy. The sounds are suppose to make him feel more and more guilty has his mind makes him hear things that aren't really there. The sounds are also suppose to remind him of what he did to his best friend.
I really like this idea. It is very thought out. But think what subtext will be emphasized through dialogue. Also when are you going to use rhythmic match in this film. It is pretty developed but maybe take it a step further and have a voice over of the main character and say how he feels like a low life, which will lead to him stealing from his friend. Or have a narrator throughout your film in areas that it would be helpful and appropriate.
ReplyDeleteJust from the logline, I thought that the concept was interesting. I feel like you should show quick flashbacks or at least something to show how this man got into the slump that he’s in right now. The decision to break into his friend’s house came pretty quick, I just hope that it works out well in the final thing. The part I liked was when he was walking on the street and he show someone breaking glass bottles for an art piece was good. You could do a quick flashback of him breaking something while robbing his friend’s house which would increase his antsy-ness and guilt. I also love the idea of the sounds from the robbery coming back in a flash at him. The part where the sounds come at him again while he passes the police station is kind of repetitive, I feel like he should confess after the “NO NO NONONOOO” part to make it as a better breaking point for him. I’ll be interested on how you set up the robbery, his breaking point and the police scene.
ReplyDeleteThe idea seems really interesting and could potentially be really good, but some of the ideas could be adjusted. Some sense could make the sound of the overall film sound better and flow together if some changes are made. The locations, like the police station and acting out the robbery, might be hard to do, but besides that i feel this treatment could be developed into a good film. Keep up the good work :)
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